Shades of pain…. That phrase is running through my mind as I think about the pain I am in right now, today. I was trying to describe it to my friend so that she understands. I always think that my pain can’t get any worse, but it does. How can I begin to explain to her what I am feeling? Maybe other people with chronic pain will understand.
I changed doctors a few months ago and my new ones are really not grasping my medical history. I don’t think they have completely read through my records and they dismiss so many things I tell them. Last week at the pain doctor, she told me that it is against the law for her to prescribe opioids for me because I do not have cancer and am not at the end of my life. She explained that I am taking almost 5 times the legal limit. She cut my pain medication by 30% and next week I am supposed to go back and she will cut it down to the legal limit for a cancer patient. She hasn’t said what the next step after that will be. Is she going to take everything away?
In spite of the fact that I have been dealing with chronic pain for 8 years, I have a heart condition, 2 failed back fusions, I am in so much pain already that I can rarely get out of bed, plus I have several diagnoses that are up in the air at this point (they disagree with the Mayo Clinic) she is taking away my pain medication. She told me that the federal government has passed this law and she has to follow it.
The problem is, besides the fact that I am in tremendous pain, I can’t find any information on the laws that have been passed. I know there has been discussion and that the CDC has made recommendations. A recommendation is not a law, though. I have even asked other chronic pain patients on Twitter if they have heard of these new laws. No one has.
My husband is trying to get me in to see his pain doctor, I don’t think I can take much more of this. I have to find a new doctor asap. The pain is horrible, it wasn’t even controlled in the first place. Now on top of it, I am dealing with withdrawal symptoms. I am trying to read and to keep busy, I try not to let myself focus on the pain. This post has taken me hours to write, I just can’t get it together. Tomorrow has to be better!